


The Tale Begins with a Charge

by alternatedoom



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Bestiality, But Just A Single Mention Of Rape, Consent Issues, Drinking & Talking, Dubious Consent, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, M/M, Not Beta Read, Shapeshifted Bestiality, Shapeshifting, The Myth Is Pretty Rapey TBH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-18 20:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12395760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternatedoom/pseuds/alternatedoom
Summary: "Wait," Clint said, "I'm having trouble getting my mind around this. You fucked a horse? And there's astory?"





	The Tale Begins with a Charge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shinyforce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyforce/gifts).



> Written for the Avengers kink meme [here](https://avengerkink.livejournal.com/7940.html?thread=16753668#t16753668). Prompt was: _Gen, Loki/Other TW: semi-bestiality and/or the mention thereof, loki being an utter tart_
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> _So most of the time when Sleipnir's parentage comes up in fic, Loki tends to squirm or evade the question or otherwise get shy about it. I would love to see him being utterly shameless instead, and regard it as a funny story about his misspent youth and the best sex he never should have had, willing to answer any and all questions and relate any and all details._
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> _Bonus points for Steve listening in utter horror and uncomfortable arousal._
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>  1. I am no expert on the mythology and mostly half assed this. Full credit for my quick education goes to the "10 Bits of Norse Myth You Probably Won't See in Thor" on themarysue.com.
> 
> 2\. Clocking in at over five years old, this is the oldest prompt I have ever filled. Fandom, I might be doing it wrong...
> 
> 3\. Shinyforce, the past few things I've written I've been like 'I'm not sure shiny ships this... I'm not even sure shiny will read this.' So while lol this isn't even your fandom, screw it: I'm never sure how much more I will write before the inevitable hiatus, and I'm not sure when or if I will return to writing WoW things, so (while absolutely no pressure to read whatsoever!) please accept this fic dedication as a general token of my esteem. <3

Most of the guests at the party at the Avengers Tower had long since departed. Save Steve and Loki, all of those remaining fell along the drunken spectrum and were tipsy at the very least. Standing around mingling had given way to the inner circle sitting around together, and the gathering was generally winding down when the conversation suddenly took a turn.

"You know, I did some flipping through in one of Erik's books, and in the mythology, you're supposed to have fucked a horse one time," Darcy said to Loki.

There were a myriad of reactions around the chairs and couches. Clint snorted. Steve blinked. Natasha arched a single eyebrow. Tony didn't react at all except to take another sip of his drink.

Thor laughed loudly and enthusiastically. " _One_ time?"

"It was one occasion, yes," Loki said.

Steve's jaw fell, bafflement and open dismay written all over his handsome features. Jane's nose wrinkled as her face pulled together into a moue of disgust.

Clint set his drink down on the table too hard and too loudly, affronted. "Wow. And that's just... something we're fine with? We're condoning bestiality now? Because they're Asgardians it's okay for them to fuck farm animals?"

Loki ignored Clint and the others, leaning forward towards Darcy with a crooked smile. "Do not spoil the ending. I will tell you all the story."

"Wait," Clint said. "I'm having trouble getting my mind around this. You fucked a horse? And there's a _story_?"

"The horse fucked me," Loki said calmly.

Bruce remained silent, a bemused expression on his face. Steve looked appalled. Only Thor and Darcy were smiling, Thor nodding along as though to a beat only he could hear.

"This is gonna be a groovy story, I can tell," Darcy said.

"It is salacious," Loki promised with a tiny quirk of his brows. 

Clint seemed temporarily stunned out of his perpetual hostility towards Loki, or perhaps it was only the quantities of tequila he'd imbibed. "Why? Is that like climbing Mount Everest, you do it because it was there?"

"The tale begins with a charge," Loki started.

Clint looked even more confused. "The horse charged you?"

Loki facepalmed, sighing, as Tony shook his head. "Not that kind of charge. A duty. A responsibility," Tony said to Clint, his voice unusually muted despite his blood alcohol level.

"Precisely," Loki agreed. "A charge was laid upon me."

"Tony, you know this story too?" Clint asked.

Tony nodded, face expressionless. "I don't know about you guys, but when I run into a demigod I have JARVIS check out Wikipedia on them after."

Jane, beside Thor, stared up at her boyfriend as if seeing him with new eyes. "Thor," she said quietly, "have you ever ... you know... with an animal?"

"Not I," Thor assured her.

Loki leaned forward slyly as Jane breathed out in relief. "He did play bride to a giant though. Before he murdered the would-be bridegroom and all the assembled guests. Another of our finest stories."

Jane gaped at Thor.

"Mjolnir had been stolen and was being held in ransom for our lady mother's hand in marriage. An indecent demand, for obvious reasons. I masqueraded as a woman only to serve justice and get my hammer back," Thor explained.

"Your beloved made a most curious woman," Loki told Jane, putting a hand on Thor's knee. "Even in a gown, even with a glamour and the most exquisite jewels and fabulous bridal headdress, still I had to make far-fetched explanations for his peculiar appearance. We borrowed our mother's celebrated necklace for that extra brush of realism, but it hardly helped."

Jane looked between them uneasily.

"I looked far more comely, disguised as his handmaid, but I was groped and molested for it more times than I can count," Loki continued, looking up at the ceiling as if remembering. "The giants had quite large fingers. The ordeal didn't end until the start of the wedding feast, when they at last revealed Mjolnir. Thor leapt up, called his weapon and we slaughtered them by the dozens. By the end we were wading in blood."

Loki smiled, lost for a moment in memory.

"So it was like... the Red Wedding?" Darcy asked, eyes wide.

"It was justice," Thor insisted, brushing Loki's hand off his knee. 

"Sounds like it was a weird excuse for crossdressing," Clint said.

"Getting back to your equine swain, brother," Thor commanded pointedly.

"Yes, back to my stallion." Loki glanced around at them, ensuring he retained everyone's complete attention. Bruce still looked bemused, Clint bug-eyed and rapt, Natasha composed as ever. Steve looked even more appalled and deeply uncomfortable, fidgeting with his mug. Darcy was grinning. Jane continued staring at Thor, but that too seemed to suit Loki, for he continued. "I will not tell you his name, nor his owner's name, for your Midgardian mouths would all mangle the pronunciation. But I was on a mission for my family and my honor to divert his attention, to distract him, and so to that purpose I transformed myself into the most desirable mare you can imagine."

"The most desirable mare I can imagine is still just... a horse," Clint said doubtfully. Tony, Clint and Darcy were most hanging on his words, and so Loki made more eye contact with them than the others as he spoke. Yet Tony seemed uncharacteristically reticent, sitting back with his hand hiding his mouth, thumbing his lips.

"In retrospect," Loki told them, "I may have made myself a touch too enticing. I had planned to dance out of his reach all night long, but his lust for me was so great he managed immediately to rip through his bindings and tear across the clearing towards me. I knew what would happen if he caught me, so I fled away through the forest." Loki's face became animated as he recalled the chase, though his gestures were less grand than Thor's when he recounted stories. "He pursued me all night long, and all night long I ran from him, until we were both thoroughly lathered and beyond. The beads of our sweat flew away in the chase and became new stars in the sky. Several times he almost caught me, but each time I eluded him during the long night. We galloped away from the castle walls, through the forest, into the valleys, through the meadows of the vale, over hills, even over a mountain until at last, near dawn, I stumbled once." Loki paused. "But that one slip was my undoing. I tried to recover but he was clever, trapping me with two close trees. Then he was upon me. Though I did not want to be taken by him, as a mare in full heat my body was ready for him to possess me." Loki took a sip of his wine, then resumed. "Which he did, utterly. His cock was four times the size of your Earth horses' members." Loki held his crystal wineglass far from his other hand. "Like this. He pinned me and plunged inside me and we rutted. As the hours passed, we rutted still."

They were all left speechless save Thor, who laughed and knocked his half-empty glass mug of beer against Loki's almost untouched wineglass, nearly causing the wine to slosh out. The loud resultant ring of glass slamming into crystal made a few of them wince, and Loki shot his brother an annoyed look as he steadied his drink. Tony had one arm crossed over his chest and his other hand still covering his mouth, his brow furrowed. Steve, who under any other circumstances might have offered a few words of compassion, avoided everyone's eyes and ran his hand through his hair like the whole idea was high above his pay grade and he didn't want to believe any of it, or think overlong about what he was hearing.

"So you were... raped?" Darcy asked, so softly the words were almost a shamed whisper, and Darcy was looking guilty and as horrified now as Steve. "Loki... I'm so sorry. The story I read didn't mention that part, just that you-- with a horse and gave birth to a horse baby. I would never have--"

"A horse b--" Jane's voice failed her halfway through her echoed sentence.

"I was the victim only of my own brilliant success," Loki said, shrugging. "The consequences were not what I intended, and it is not the plan I would hatch now, but he was a magnificent beast, powerful beyond measure, mightier than any other horse that had ever yet lived in any realm, and our offspring is extraordinary as well."

"How was there offspring?" Clint asked, dumbfounded.

"There was a cock and a cunt," Loki said with a smile and another little shrug. "And all the rest. His body and mine. Voila, offspring."

"The Aesir do not consider these matters as you Midgardians do," Thor told Darcy comfortingly, as though he felt she needed the reassurance. "Do not pity Loki. He knew what he was getting into."

Loki nodded. "Though I did not desire it at first, by the end of my flight I could scarce recall why I'd fled, and the copulation was among the most satisfying of my sexual experiences. I could scent his strength and his virility and it drove me mad. Though I forced myself to run, I wanted him so badly. I ached to have him inside me, even as I struggled to rise and run again. The first moment of penetration was sweet agony, a cruel bliss."

Steve crossed his legs and rearranged his arms, carefully positioning his empty mug over his lap.

With a slow, amused once-over of Steve's altered posture, Loki continued. "After chasing me all night, still he had reserves of energy, and he fucked me from dawn until dusk on the day that followed, again and again, until we were both spent and I was overflowing with his seed. My body dripped with it for days afterward."

Dead silence.

"About a week and a half it was," Thor said.

"Yes, thank you," Loki said. "As Thor remembers."

Thor inclined his head once, for he enjoyed both being helpful and having his efforts to be helpful appreciated.

Steve's cheeks were flushed deeply red.

"The rutting was much more pleasant than giving birth," Loki said, and raised his wineglass to Darcy and to Jane before taking a long draught.

"Aye," Thor nodded, reaching up to squeeze his brother's shoulder. "He birthed a fine healthy foal. Who grew into an incredible horse, well-suited to his majestic sire and to my brother who bore him. Eight legs he has."

Loki nodded placid agreement. "He is a clever creature. I made a gift of him to Odin."

"How did that work?" Bruce asked in a strangled voice. "The, uh, pregnancy?"

"I remained a mare," Loki told him. "So it was as any normal equine gestation. I was not comfortable in horseflesh for so long, however."

"He was unbearably grouchy for eleven long months."

"Shh, Thor, I'm telling the story," Loki said.

"Asgard has no horse abortion?" Darcy inquired.

Loki smiled faintly at her.

Clint shook his head in disbelief. "And you're just... okay with all this?"

"Quite fine," Loki said, stretching out his long legs and crossing them at the ankle as he leaned back on the couch. "It was a very long time ago."

"Can you... can you show us yourself as a horse?" Darcy asked tentatively.

"Darcy!" Jane said, frowning at her former intern.

"What?" Darcy asked, turning defensive. "He said he's fine with it, his best sex ever! Thor said don't feel sorry for him!"

"Yeah, I'd like a look-see too, if you were the most amazing horse of all time," Clint agreed.

"Only for a minute, I don't want a horsie in my tower on an ongoing basis," Tony said. "Unless you're housebroken. Not even then, actually."

"Go ahead brother. There are no stallions in the vicinity," Thor judged, not without looking around, and Loki rose. 

Setting down his drink, Loki took several steps away from the circle of furniture, and with a sliding gleam of golden light he shifted seamlessly before their eyes.

Clint stared, as did they all. 

"He looks like... a black horse," Tony observed.

The horse tossed its mane as its plumed tail flicked back and forth, and Thor seemed offended. "'A black horse?' That is all you have to say?" Thor crossed his arms. "None can deny my brother is as fine a mare as you could wish to mount--" 

Steve's root beer was long gone, yet he suddenly choked and leaned forward in a fit of coughing.

"--in this life or beyond it in Valhalla!" Thor finished firmly.

Clint shook his head, puzzled. "I don't see what's so special--"

Thor abruptly pulled his feet off the ottoman and returned his boots to the floor with paired thumps. "Look at his mane," Thor said, waving at his brother for emphasis, "see how it flows and shifts even without a breeze? Look how his coat shines so evenly, the color of night itself. His hooves are immaculate, nary a scratch. His flanks are perfectly rounded, his loins soft and--"

"Okay," Steve interrupted loudly without looking up. "Yes, wow, he's really swell. Look at that."

"Show them your teeth," Thor instructed, and Loki bared a short and pristine white set in a snarl, his midnight tail swishing.

"Yeah, okay, when you put it like that, sure, I'd ride him just to say I did," Tony said, draining the last of his double scotch. Thor glanced at him and Tony put up his hands. "Hey, don't smack me down, Goldilocks, you're the one describing him like the Jessica Rabbit of horses."

" _Ride him_ ride him?" Clint asked Tony.

"Nah, not like that," Tony said. "While he's Lady Secretariat? No. I have my kinks, but bestiality isn't on the list."

"Oh yeah?" Clint cast Tony a look. "And once he's back on two legs?"

Bruce tittered out the sort of lovable giggle he only emitted when seriously inebriated. "Yeah, you know you phrased that kinda funny, Tony."

Tony did not answer, but he cocked his head sideways as he stared at the horse, as though considering Clint's second question.

Jane was still blushing madly from the tale and its revelations. "I used to do some riding... he's a nice looking horse, yeah. He looks very... very strong and well-brushed."

"He has excellent lines, the best I've ever seen," Natasha agreed, and when Clint looked at her, she shrugged. "Everyone in the Red Room was trained to know horses, and for equestrian proficiency."

Thor beamed at Natasha.

Loki did a four-legged whirl in a circle and shifted himself back to his Asgardian form. "Thank you." He reseated himself gracefully beside Thor.

Thor faced the group again, speaking emphatically. "And if you could smell him... think of the headiest, sexiest, most arousing scent you have ever had the privilege of inhaling. Because that's what he smelled like."

"I just like to hear you say the word 'sexiest,' space prince," Darcy said.

"Sexiest," Thor repeated as if tasting the word, with a small but broadening smile on his face, for he was nothing if not obliging before an audience.

"You looked like a normal sized horse," Clint said to Loki, frowning as if puzzling the math out. "If the other horse's dick was four times the size of a regular one, how did it even fit?"

"Tightly," Loki said with a shameless grin and another little quirk of his eyebrows. "Let us just say my internal organs were all rearranged well before the pregnancy."

"Didn't it hurt?" Darcy asked. "The monster cock stomach bulge porn always looks so painful."

Loki shook his head. "The birth was a torment, the worst pain I have ever felt, but the sex was fine, likely because I was so wet for him. His cock was staggeringly sized, yes, and because I was still in possession of my hymen there was pain in the first moments, but even that was a sweet pain. Nature all fulfilled, you know. Then my quim stretched and it was ecstasy."

Darcy nodded wisely, and even her cheeks looked faintly rosy. "Hot."

"It was." Loki smiled at her, then continued. "I have sired other children as well. The most fearsome of wolves, a serpent grown larger than your world--"

"So the myths are all true, is what you're saying," Tony interrupted, shaking his head. "Jesus." 

"Not all of them," Loki said.

"Steve, I have never seen you blush this hard for this long," Tony said. "Worse than when we educated you on the meaning of 'hentai.' You gonna be okay, buddy?"

Steve only shook his head, his eyes lowered, his legs, arms and empty glass still precisely placed. "I will never be okay."

Loki rose again and headed to the bar a few feet away, sliding his hand sensually over Steve's shoulders as he passed. Steve flinched from his touch. "Captain Rogers looks fine to me," Loki said with an arch little smile. 

"So, the obvious question this begs," Tony said, slurring his words slightly. "Have you ever been a human woman for sex?"

"Oh, yes," Loki said, looking back and studying Tony as if only now realizing how drunk he was. "Many times. But I insist they pull out upon pain of death."

Bruce sucked air in through his teeth, and Clint shook his head. "That sounds... stupidly risky," Clint said.

"For all parties involved," Bruce agreed.

Tony stood up, his footing sloppy and uneven. "I've wondered what that's like. Being a woman. Just in passing. I would try it just once."

"I applaud your spirit of adventure," Loki offered, pouring himself another glass of wine. "I think everyone should experience the other side of things. It is a shame most never will." Loki's gaze drifted back to Darcy. "You learn so much of female pleasure. The --"

Loki broke off as Tony stumbled on his way back over to the bar, catching him by the waist as he reached the counter. Loki steadied him until Tony regained his footing and evaluated Tony's stance a second longer, ascertaining he was propped against the bar before releasing him.

"So, who wants another drink?" Tony asked, waving his empty glass.

Every hand but Steve's and Loki's shot up.


End file.
